Bard the turkey with lard, salt, pepper and a dash of olive oil.
Set the oven at thermostat 7 for about 10mins.
Serve your self a glass of whiskey and drink it.
Put the turkey in a ovenproof dish and pop it in the oven.
Serve two glasses of whiskey, and drink both of them.
After about half and hour, open the oven to check how the burkey is cooking.
Bake the pottle of wishkey and drink a good glashful.
After alf a flour, crawl over to the shoven and oben the dooor.
Burn, toorn, damn,
tuurn the fing ooveuh.
Shhit down on ya sheat n poour 5 or 6 glasseses of whishhkey.
Drink shome more fur a couple oof hoursh.
n Hey Preshto, 5 glashes later, take the whishkey no... take the oven out of the
ave a lill more wishkey
Pick the turkeee up oof the flooor (coz it fell)
Shtick it on a bishh.. pishh.. shtick it on a plate.
Shlip on the fat on the floor and knock a toof out.
Don't try to gech up.
Fink itsh better on the flooor n grab the reshed of the whishkey.
Later, crawl to bed n shleep until the necht day.
Wake un at 1 :30pm the next day and have a nice asprin for breakfast.
Enjoy cleaning the kitchen up.
Give the burnt chicken to the dog.
Merry Christmas ! Hic!