You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general
offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one
cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell
one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows, News limited buys them for an inflated price. They eat clover
for months and produce nothing. Rupert gets pissed off at another one of his children.
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Chokemen and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two
cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't
know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high
bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights.
They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
You have two cows. That one on the left is kind of cute...